Dating a Wise Priority?

Many college students often consider the wisdom of dating, and may be asking: How do I balance time with God, school, friendships, and the desire to date?

It’s a real question—and the fact some are asking shows maturity. It's even to rush into dating without ever stepping back to consider God’s design.

Before we try to balance everything, we need to remember the purpose of dating in the first place. The purpose of dating is to discover God’s will for marriage. And marriage is an incredible gift—a picture of the gospel, a partnership marked by grace and joy. Dating isn’t recreational; it’s directional.

That’s why Scripture pushes us toward the deeper question: Who are we becoming? Jesus grew “in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man” (Luke 2:52, ESV). That’s the model for our development—intellectual, physical, spiritual, and relational growth.

So instead of fixating on finding the right person, we’re invited to focus on becoming someone who honors Christ in every part of life. This shapes how we pursue relationships and how we discern God’s timing.

For the men especially, this includes stewarding our whole selves—heart, mind, and body. Getting in shape isn’t about ego; it’s about responsibility. As I often remind myself as a married guy, “If love for my fiancée motivated me to get in shape for my wedding, then love for her now as my wife must motivate me to stay in shape for my marriage.” It’s an honor to provide and protect for my wife and kids - but it is very hard work.

As we grow spiritually, academically, physically, and relationally, dating finds its proper place. It becomes a blessing—not a distraction—when our priorities are aligned.

This week, I encourage you to ask someone who knows you well to identify one area where you can grow. Listen, learn, and trust God to shape you into the person He wants you to be. Marriage is worth the wait—and God’s timing is always best.

​Check out this Steps To Thrive Podcast Episode to learn more.