Résumé Virtues & Eulogy Virtues

My oldest son turned 8 yesterday. We had a fun celebration for him - and he seemed to enjoy the gifts, birthday cake, and games. In fact, as I write this in our living room he's a few feet away from me putting together one of the lego sets he received as a gift. My soon-to-be-5-year-old is also in the same room as I type running around trying to keep a leftover birthday balloon in the air before it hits the ground. And my wife is caring for our newborn in the bedroom. We did the quick math and realized that about the time our newborn is the age of our soon-to-be-5-year-old that our old son that turned 8 yesterday will be a teenager. It was a crazy moment and reminder how time flies.

I've been thinking a lot lately about David Brooks' introduce to his book The Road to Character in which he discuss the difference between résumé virtues and eulogy virtues. He writes: "Recently I've been thinking about the difference between the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues. The résumé virtues are the ones you list on your résumé, the skills that you bring to the job market and that contribute to external success. The eulogy virtues are deeper. They're the virtues that get talked about at your funeral, the ones that exist at the core of your being—whether you are kind, brave, honest or faithful; what kind of relationships you formed. Most of us would say that the eulogy virtues are more important than the résumé virtues, but I confess that for long stretches of my life I've spent more time thinking about the latter than the former…Most of us have clearer strategies for how to achieve career success than we do for how to develop a profound character.”

It is my hope and prayer that I live with eulogy virtues as a priority so my wife and sons can learn what's most important in this life - and the next.